List-less But Not Listless

I have lots of lists.

If we had all day, that might give me enough time to enumerate for you the grand and subtle, the titanic and miniature, the vague and specific works the Lord has been doing over the past year or more to get us to this place. Perhaps place is not the right word since our physical move has not happened yet. The word position does much better service to where we are at this moment.

The Brogan family is moving from Birmingham to the Atlanta, Georgia, area in a couple of months. Birmingham has been home for fourteen years. All of our children entered our family in Birmingham (so to speak). It's the only home our children have ever known. We have grown and struggled here and found community and purpose in this city, so much so that for years we proclaimed this as our forever home, where we would grow old and host our grandchildren. Now we know better.

Do not mistake my sentimentality for sadness - we are excited about the move! Of course, we will miss our friends and neighbors terribly. I predict many tears and tissues when we drive our van away from Wisteria Drive for the last time. However, our excitement currently manifests from possibility rather than geography.

If you read back through this blog, which is dedicated to our adoption, you will see literal miracles. Quick summary:

I prayed (and asked you to pray) for our fundraising efforts to be fruitful. Our adoption cost around $41,000. Chad's spreadsheets show that over $35,000 of that was funded by you - our community, friends, faithful strangers.

I prayed (and asked you to pray) for our children to be home by Christmas 2018, the same year we started the adoption process in February. We brought them home in November 2018; an unheard-of timeline for international adoption.

I prayed (and asked you to pray) that someone would give us a car. Read that again. The Holy Spirit told me to pray that someone would just GIVE US A CAR. A week later at church, someone I knew but rarely got to spend time with walked up to me and offered to give us a car, and not just any car. One that met the exact needs of our family at the time. 

Those are just a few examples of God's goodness. 

After our adoption, we wandered through many types of wilderness for two years. God does not change, and He still blessed us in the wilderness. He held our marriage together. He softened the trauma-hardened hearts of our children moment by moment. Our manna was made of friends who listened, brought food, and prayed for us. Like the Israelites, we cried out for comfort. Instead, God gave courage and His promises as sustenance. 

Now, God is preparing us for another change. I hope I can do my joy and His character justice as I explain what I mean and ask you to, yet again, join me in praying for the impossible.

Confession: I have never wanted to stay home with my children. Teaching is all the things one hopes for in a job: challenging, rewarding, engaging, life-changing (for all involved), ever-changing. I could go on...no, really, I want to go on. Teaching has been a gift to me, even during those hard phases when I misused my sarcastic wit or let students slip through cracks. Even when I failed, I never wanted to leave it.

However, on the long list of God's plan for our future is a book I am still reading: The Rest of God by Mark Buchanan. I had a stack of TBR (to-be-read) books on my nightstand at the beginning of this year, but none of them held my interest. So I raided Chad's TBR pile and picked up Buchanan's book. WHICH I only did because God had directed our Sunday school teacher at the time to spend a lesson on the idea of Sabbath. And WHICH he only had because his mom gave him a pile of used books for Christmas. In this book, Buchanan points out that our work in the fallen world is under the Genesis curse specifically. No matter how wonderful, fulfilling, even God-honoring your job is, it will never fully satisfy you. At some point and in some way (maybe many), it will frustrate you or discourage you. This was an eye-opening statement for me. 

I love my job. Have I said it enough? I LOVE MY JOB. Teaching utilizes my talents, reveals my weaknesses, and accesses both of those in a community of growth. It's perfect! Well, actually, it's not perfect. While teaching, I have damaged relationships, discouraged others, made errors, indulged my pride, and felt inadequate more times than I can count. Work is cursed. Still, I have never wanted to NOT teach . . . until now.

And it's not even that I don't want to do it. It's that - and this is the complicated prayer request part - God has something else for me in Georgia. And I have no idea what it is. But I'm PUMPED.

Dare I say it, just as I dared to claim an early home date for Andres and Sara, just I dared suggest He had a car waiting as a gift for us: I think He wants me to stay home and love my children without distraction. If not, then He has something completely new and different planned for me. The thing is, He's not telling me what it is yet. 

Believe it or not, I find that idea very exciting. I will have such a Glory Story to tell when He reveals His plan.

Please join me in praying that I will submit to God's plan. And if you want to pray boldly, as I plan to do, you can pray that Chad's new employer, who has already shown him favor and rewarded his work ethic after ONE day on the job, will decide to increase his salary far before expected so that we can be a single income family. This is not a prayer of greed; it is a prayer of promise-claiming from a God who wants GOOD things for His children. We don't want to live in a mansion and drive new, fancy cars. We don't to eat out at restaurants nightly. On the contrary, I want to keep a simple, clean house where I prepare meals and make our children feel safe and loved. Ideally, each of those kids would have his/her own room. Again, not for greed, but for complicated reasons - like how my trauma-informed adopted son cannot sleep through the night, and his only way to comfort himself is to beep his watch or talk to himself. The result is a sleepy, frustrated Brenty waking up with purple bags under his eyes every morning. As you can imagine, he's not too keen on investing in his relationship with his brother under those circumstances. 

I know it might sound ridiculous to some to ask for such a specific and seemingly far-fetched blessing. But I am loved by a mighty God for whom money and time are tiny strands in the universe He holds together. If He wants me to work, I will work. If he wants me to teach, I will teach. 

If He wants me at home, helping my husband, raising my children, and serving Him there, He will provide a way.

Thank you for praying with us now and in times past. Please keep the Brogans on your prayer list.