Still. Still. Still. (a confession in real time)
Morning, Wednesday, January 31: Wake up and check the adoption fundraising account. Thankful for the generosity of friends and loved ones. Truly Thankful.
Secretly send a side glance at the difference between what we have been given so far and what we need. Resolve to pray more and trust God.
All day Wednesday, January 31: Obsessively check fundraising site every other hour (oh, me of little faith and even less patience) waiting for it to jump.
Make mental and physical lists of things to sell, people to approach, art to make to raise money. Basically deny the peace and rest that Jesus continually extends to us through His word, intercession, and communion.
Repent.
Evening, Wednesday, January 31: Reminded by the Holy Spirit to be still and wait. The Lord is over this and in this. Not my job - or at all within my power - to accomplish anything on my own.
Talk with Chad about my struggle to be still. He encourages me.
Proceed to tag several celebrities on Twitter with links to our fundraising page. *casts eyes and face downward* I mean, what good is the internet if you can't ask Chrissy Teigen and Terry Crews to donate to your adoption?
Repent.
Repent.
Thursday, February 1: Check fundraising site. It jumps.
Later find two previously unnoticed notes on my desk. A friend wants to make a considerable donation to our cause. I cry a little.
Evening, Thursday, February 1: Fight the urge to pull verse prints out of storage and post a FB raffle. Nothing wrong with a FB sale, but the Lord said wait. [If you can imagine what it would look like for my spirit to pout and stomp like a spoiled child who wants their dessert before dinner, that was the condition of my soul.]
Repent.
Check the fundraising account.
Repent.
{Repeat several times}
Morning, Friday, February 2: It jumps again. Like, a lot. (THANK YOU!)
Rejoice and praise God for His goodness TO and THROUGH His people.
Ride that wave all day.
Morning, Saturday, February 3: Supplier for first fundraising sale has sick kids and cannot deliver product.
Worry a little.
The Holy Spirit wrestles me to stillness. I try not to fight back.
Pray.
Chad does our taxes while I read through the massive adoption manual. Our refund will cover our next fee! {praise dance! praise dance!} Believing we have a couple of weeks to make that payment, we put it out of mind for a while. The return deposit should go in before our payment deadline.
Evening, Saturday, February 3: Fellowship with our Sunday school family. Words of love and encouragement fill my joy silos beyond capacity. People want to give and help and listen and share. Amazing. Small business friends offer to donate sales to our adoption costs.
Listen to our Heritage Builders family share about experiences and relationships over the past six months while we have been teaching Sunday school. It was good to be home.
-- I'd like to pause here to share the excitement and pure joy I feel when I think about how loved our future children ALREADY ARE. Like, I should not be surprised. If you're reading this, you are part of our lives, and we are surrounded by loving, generous, kind people. We love you. God is good. --
Sunday, February 4: Sabbath like nobody's watching.
Fellowship, worship, fellowship, family time, fellowship, enjoy Him.
Check fundraising page.
Repent.
You know.
Monday, February 5: You guys. YOU GUYS. Two more small business owners offer to have a sale and donate proceeds.
Just. Overwhelmed. And humbled in the best, most thankful way.
DID NOT CHECK FUNDRAISING SITE. Amen, amen!
Midmorning, Tuesday, February 6: Chad and I receive an email that the DOS (overseeing body for adoption agencies) has changed some detail of its requirements. If Chad and I do not file our full (It's a LOT) application and fees by next Wednesday, the fees will increase.
No panic.
God is in this and over it.
No panic, but a 'moment.' Had that moment of thinking, "Now the journey gets harder. We've had only encouragement and support so far, beyond our expectations. Maybe this will be the beginning of one of those stories we might tell later about how God intervened in a hardship, but we struggled and worried first."
We make some lists and plans. We look at money we can move. Chad (Thank God for my analytical, over-prepared, detailed husband!) starts the next round of paperwork, staying up into the wee morning hours.
Evening, Tuesday, February 6: A friend comes to my door and hands me cash. And not just a little. She simply explains that she found it while cleaning house, and the Lord told her it was for us.
Wednesday, February 7: Wake up to several emails from Chad about information and references we need to gather to meet the deadline.
Pray while in carpool. Because #momlife.
Spirit is oddly quiet and calm (not by my doing!).
DID NOT CHECK FUNDRAISING SITE.
But I did check my email.
Two generous donations had been made this morning. Our fundraising account has enough money to almost cover the fee. (THANK YOU THANK YOU)
Peace like a river.
I don't have enough accurate adjectives for this experience so far. It's possible (I hesitate to say probably because that sounds like doubt to me) that a season of hardship is coming. We might encounter loads of heartache and difficulty as we move closer to bringing our children home. Or we might struggle tremendously after they are home.
And if that becomes our reality, my prayer is that I will confidently continue to proclaim that God is still good.
This week, this month, more than ever before, this verse - one brought to my attention by my dear friend Alieta - has rung true.
The Lord will fight for you, and you can be still. - Exodus 14:14 (ESV)
It doesn't feel like a fight. Maybe because we already have a victor. THE victor.
Thank you so much. For your prayers. For your friendship. For your many different methods of support.
Hugs and blessings,
Christa
https://adopttogether.org/families/?fundraiser=brogan-family-adoption
Secretly send a side glance at the difference between what we have been given so far and what we need. Resolve to pray more and trust God.
All day Wednesday, January 31: Obsessively check fundraising site every other hour (oh, me of little faith and even less patience) waiting for it to jump.
Make mental and physical lists of things to sell, people to approach, art to make to raise money. Basically deny the peace and rest that Jesus continually extends to us through His word, intercession, and communion.
Repent.
Evening, Wednesday, January 31: Reminded by the Holy Spirit to be still and wait. The Lord is over this and in this. Not my job - or at all within my power - to accomplish anything on my own.
Talk with Chad about my struggle to be still. He encourages me.
Proceed to tag several celebrities on Twitter with links to our fundraising page. *casts eyes and face downward* I mean, what good is the internet if you can't ask Chrissy Teigen and Terry Crews to donate to your adoption?
Repent.
Repent.
Thursday, February 1: Check fundraising site. It jumps.
Later find two previously unnoticed notes on my desk. A friend wants to make a considerable donation to our cause. I cry a little.
Evening, Thursday, February 1: Fight the urge to pull verse prints out of storage and post a FB raffle. Nothing wrong with a FB sale, but the Lord said wait. [If you can imagine what it would look like for my spirit to pout and stomp like a spoiled child who wants their dessert before dinner, that was the condition of my soul.]
Repent.
Check the fundraising account.
Repent.
{Repeat several times}
Morning, Friday, February 2: It jumps again. Like, a lot. (THANK YOU!)
Rejoice and praise God for His goodness TO and THROUGH His people.
Ride that wave all day.
Morning, Saturday, February 3: Supplier for first fundraising sale has sick kids and cannot deliver product.
Worry a little.
The Holy Spirit wrestles me to stillness. I try not to fight back.
Pray.
Chad does our taxes while I read through the massive adoption manual. Our refund will cover our next fee! {praise dance! praise dance!} Believing we have a couple of weeks to make that payment, we put it out of mind for a while. The return deposit should go in before our payment deadline.
Evening, Saturday, February 3: Fellowship with our Sunday school family. Words of love and encouragement fill my joy silos beyond capacity. People want to give and help and listen and share. Amazing. Small business friends offer to donate sales to our adoption costs.
Listen to our Heritage Builders family share about experiences and relationships over the past six months while we have been teaching Sunday school. It was good to be home.
-- I'd like to pause here to share the excitement and pure joy I feel when I think about how loved our future children ALREADY ARE. Like, I should not be surprised. If you're reading this, you are part of our lives, and we are surrounded by loving, generous, kind people. We love you. God is good. --
Sunday, February 4: Sabbath like nobody's watching.
Fellowship, worship, fellowship, family time, fellowship, enjoy Him.
Check fundraising page.
Repent.
You know.
Monday, February 5: You guys. YOU GUYS. Two more small business owners offer to have a sale and donate proceeds.
Just. Overwhelmed. And humbled in the best, most thankful way.
DID NOT CHECK FUNDRAISING SITE. Amen, amen!
Midmorning, Tuesday, February 6: Chad and I receive an email that the DOS (overseeing body for adoption agencies) has changed some detail of its requirements. If Chad and I do not file our full (It's a LOT) application and fees by next Wednesday, the fees will increase.
No panic.
God is in this and over it.
No panic, but a 'moment.' Had that moment of thinking, "Now the journey gets harder. We've had only encouragement and support so far, beyond our expectations. Maybe this will be the beginning of one of those stories we might tell later about how God intervened in a hardship, but we struggled and worried first."
We make some lists and plans. We look at money we can move. Chad (Thank God for my analytical, over-prepared, detailed husband!) starts the next round of paperwork, staying up into the wee morning hours.
Evening, Tuesday, February 6: A friend comes to my door and hands me cash. And not just a little. She simply explains that she found it while cleaning house, and the Lord told her it was for us.
Wednesday, February 7: Wake up to several emails from Chad about information and references we need to gather to meet the deadline.
Pray while in carpool. Because #momlife.
Spirit is oddly quiet and calm (not by my doing!).
DID NOT CHECK FUNDRAISING SITE.
But I did check my email.
Two generous donations had been made this morning. Our fundraising account has enough money to almost cover the fee. (THANK YOU THANK YOU)
Peace like a river.
I don't have enough accurate adjectives for this experience so far. It's possible (I hesitate to say probably because that sounds like doubt to me) that a season of hardship is coming. We might encounter loads of heartache and difficulty as we move closer to bringing our children home. Or we might struggle tremendously after they are home.
And if that becomes our reality, my prayer is that I will confidently continue to proclaim that God is still good.
This week, this month, more than ever before, this verse - one brought to my attention by my dear friend Alieta - has rung true.
The Lord will fight for you, and you can be still. - Exodus 14:14 (ESV)
It doesn't feel like a fight. Maybe because we already have a victor. THE victor.
Thank you so much. For your prayers. For your friendship. For your many different methods of support.
Hugs and blessings,
Christa
https://adopttogether.org/families/?fundraiser=brogan-family-adoption
Comments
Post a Comment