Satisfaction Guaranteed

Right off the bat, let me hit you with the disappointing news: we did not get matched today.

I am not joyful. But I am still hopeful. And am working on being satisfied.
The orphanage approved our dossier today. This is great news. It means they see no problems with our potential adoption of siblings. But that is all they had time to do in regards to our case. We are not the only family applying for kids at this particular orphanage. Our dossier is upwards of 50 pages long, maybe more. And, of course, in the best interest of the orphans in their care, they review every item on every page. So it is understandable that approving the dossier took up all the designated Brogan time on the agenda. Matching requires more than just giving a thumbs up or signing on a dotted line.

This is not a rejection. It is an imagined delay. I say imagined because today was not guaranteed in any way. We had hoped to be matched, to talk with Lolo and Lala via the internet, and to share their sweet faces with those of you who want to meet them. But everything about our timeline is hypothetical, surrounded by caveats and contingencies. We do not order our days or hold our own future in hand. And that's probably...definitely...a good thing.

Between you and me . . . I had a feeling. As I prayed this morning and all through the week, I just had this nudging from the Holy Spirit that today would not be the day of celebration I was hoping for. I think He was preparing me. Last night at small group, we were finishing a study in Philippians. My small group pals and I spent a good while talking about satisfaction in Christ - not His gifts, not His material blessings, not our warm fuzzy feelings during worship, even though I enjoy plenty of those. But our satisfaction and contentment comes from believing He is who He claims to be: an eternal, immutable God who has ordained every portion we receive and every step we take. My satisfaction has been guaranteed, but I strive to obey the instructions for how to access it. I'm no Paul, but I have banned myself from pity-partying tonight.
What? I eat chocolate ice cream every night. *wink*

Philippians 4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. 5 Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; 6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. 9 What you have learned[e] and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.
10 I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at length you have revived your concern for me. You were indeed concerned for me, but you had no opportunity. 11 Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. 12 I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. 13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

There are an infinite number of possible reasons why we did not get matched today. And we might never know them. So we will wait some more.
Next Wednesday the directors at the orphanage will meet again. We could be matched then. Or it might be the Wednesday after that before we are officially, legally joined with Lolo and Lala. Your continued prayers are welcome and cherished; they give me comfort beyond what you know.

I am linking our two donation sites below. Since our dossier was finalized, we paid our next-to-last large agency fee.
Feel free to share these, give a spare $10, or just pray over them. :)

I'll just be over here practicing stillness instead of sadness.

Hugs,
Christa

https://adopttogether.org/families/?fundraiser=brogan-family-adoption

https://www.gofundme.com/brogan-adoption

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

What I'll Say When You Say

Image
I want to start with a disclaimer. The following is not aimed at anyone in particular. If you are reading this, it is likely you are a personal friend of our family and have kindly taken time to read about what’s going on. Maybe you played a part in bringing our children home. Maybe I see you on a regular basis and you love me and my family. Maybe we are simply acquaintances, but you are invested in this adoption in some way or another. If so, you may see yourself reflected in some of the descriptions below.  It's not you. This is the most 'it's not you, it's me' post there will ever be. I do not mean any of the following as a condemnation, criticism, or even correction. If anything, it is an explanation of the pause, or the fluttering eyelids, or the nervous laughter you might receive when you ask how things are. I have a second disclaimer. What I write below should not be taken as a request for you to stop asking. When you ask how we are, how the children ar...
Read more

You Just HAD to Sing Along, Didn't You?

How many of y'all sang along to Oceans  by Hillsong United a few years ago? I remember my friend Jennifer posting an article called, "We need to stop singing Oceans." It was about how most of us don't really want to be called to 'where our trust is without borders.' Therefore, we should not sing a song where we ask the Holy Spirit to lead us beyond our comfort and control. Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders Let me walk upon the waters Wherever You would call me Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander And my faith will be made stronger In the presence of my Savior Well, some of y'all did not get the memo.  'Cause you sang along. And He answered.  We find ourselves in a place and amidst circumstances we have never experienced before, not knowing or being able to control what comes next. (Except we can and should STAY HOME to keep it from spreading.) I’m not about to pretend like I understand this virus or how pande...
Read more

Full of Joy and Failure

Image
My favorite book of the Bible is John. I cherish the hope and affirmation with which John presents our relationship with Christ. When I am struggling or sad or hopeless, I might read a Psalm or two. But when I despair or when I am beyond feeling anything, defeated, numb, or exhausted, not knowing what else to read or where else to look, I read John. My dad and I have often talked about how comforting this gospel is. My husband’s grandmother, a sassy saint who has already passed into glory, had a practice of recommending John to non-believers as well as to Christians struggling with doubt. She would say, “You want to know the truth? Then read John.” John 1:1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was fully God. 2 The Word was with God in the beginning. 3 All things were created by him, and apart from him not one thing was created that has been created. 4 In him was life, and the life was the light of mankind. 5 And the light shines on in the darkness, but...
Read more